Ha Ha I get the point

I get now that its not going to happen between me and my x nor anyone else. It makes me sad but it is what it is, I'm just going to admit defeat in the battle of love. Its so funny because I try to be a good person and no love is my payment, I'm done being a caring person. Call me loveless from now on because I walk alone. These little moments in life are what help drive me to finish my apprenticeship and move the fuck away so I can forget everything but my family. I'm just tired of not having someone to love and call my own anymore, but if its not meant to be then its ok. I seriously feel like breaking down and just saying "fuck the world" and throwing myself into a deep depression, but I don't have that luxury. I have to keep going stronger than ever, don't let anyone get in my way. It sucks that I want to be with the one man who broke my heart and he doesn't want me. Guess if its that easy for him to move on then he really didn't care and the 5 years we have together didn't mean shit. I look back at what I have written and I've been rambling on like a little school girl but it makes me feel better. Thing I'm going to write a spell tonight to help me block out these feelings and keep love from breaking my heart again.