Torn

I don't know what to choose anymore. I want to break down and fall into his arms but can't because I feel like I'd lose everything I have worked so hard to get. I want to see his face again and have him tell me he loves me all over again but my heart breaks everytime I think about what I went through. Do I turn away and just keep going without him or do I give in and blindly allow him into my life again??? I will test myself, if I can see him face to face and not feel like I want to be with him again then I will just keep living my life how it is now, but if my heart races and I want to be with him then I will. I will not give up my dream or my training, he will have to settle with seeing me on my off days. I will give myself this test, and the outcome is what it is.

Tattoo Love

Been working on a tattoo to symbolize my love for tattooing, I have it drawn up but still need to fine tune it and tweek it more before I can get it put on me. The basic concept is to have a tattoo machine with 2 pentagrams being held up by a little voodoo doll that is tattooing another voodoo doll. So its a tattoo within a tattoo, I'll find some way to post up some pics of the finish drawing and when I finally get it I'll post up the finished product. I'm so excited to be getting a new tattoo and one that I drew on my own, I've been watching the other apprentices and taking some tips from their drawing styles and learning how to shade correctly. I want it to be a color piece but not to much color because I want to give it that awesome dark occult look. I'm also going to work on drawing up something for my teddy bear tattoo, I'm not to sure if I put the reason behind him. Well he symbolizes a point in my life where I was just used and not cared for like I was supposed to be. Like a little teddy bear I gave off nothing but love, and instead all I recieved were scars and a broken heart. He signifies the dark times I had with D, I put all that in my past not to forget but to just leave in my past. He is there to help remind me that I'm not taking any more crap from any man ever again, I will never allow myself to be taken advantage of again. I plan on putting some old school letter blocks on one side of him but looking worn out and broken and something else on his other side also worn out and broken. Its going to be a whole piece dedicated to all the negativity I'm leaving behind while I'm on my journey to achieving my dreams and living my life the way I want.