Starting over is never easy

Finally had a talk with D, cleared out a lot of emotions I've wanted to express. I will always love him because he was in my life for 5 years, but I will never be in love with him anymore. I don't think about him or going back to him, at first I thought I was just in the moment and I would just run back to him again. Then after a few more days I finally realized that I'm over going back to him. I am still hurt and can't see myself trusting anyone anytime soon. I am moving on but at a slow pace. My life is finally mine to live with no one to tell me no or hold me back, its either go with my flow or get out of the way. The 5 years I spent with D have tought me how to not treat someone you love, I know that when I do fall in love again that whoever he is will be the luckiest man alive. My love is deep and never ending, but my forgiveness is limited.

Why take one when you can have 2?

I have two job interviews tomorrow, think I'm just going to take both jobs. Need money to buy a car and I'm not doing anything with my life right now. I don't date or even go out so its the perfect time to work two full time jobs. I want to buy another Cobalt, mine was an 05 and was my little baby. I want a Lancer but they are really pricy, especially the one that I want. Cobalts are cheap and great with gas, would love a sun roof but that can always be installed right. This time I'll go with a two door Cobalt instead of 4 door, because I don't have kids and don't plan on moving anytime soon. Wish me luck guys, really hope I land these two jobs.

One day at a time right

So I don't really know how long its been since I left D, but I'm glad I got myself out of that lie of a relationship. A side affect I knew I was going to have is that when I look at a cute man all I can think of is," I wonder if he has cheated?" I have completely lost trust in men, I have no desire to be with one. One day I will open my heart again.

Everyday

Everyday I wake up I look back on my life and see what I need to change in order to not have a tragic repeat. Working on getting a job still, my cousin M called me a few days ago and told me that his friend was going to try to help me out. I have to turn in the application but my brother is taking forever with the suburban. I think it pays $9 an hour but if its less I don't care, something is something. Going to stop tattooing for a while because I've run out of some supplies and I can't afford to buy more. It has put a little sad cloud over my tattooing dream but still not going to let it stop me.