This is going to be hard

So kuma ended it, he's not a bad person just more like our lives were going in different directions.  Today is the first day and yeah its not easy, I miss him but missing him isn't enough. I'm deciding to stop using my fb or txt for a bit even stop blogging for a min so I can just focus on my life and what I need to do to go further. If that means being alone then its a sacrifice I have to take. I hate the way it sounds but I chose my tattooing over my love life.

These silly songs

Been absent for a while huh, lets do a quick catch up. Work is amazing, more amazing than I dreamt of. Been staying with slim more and more since I got back from seeing Kuma.  Just not a place for me at home anymore. I love my life how it is, but that's the thing. I love Kuma with all my heart but I look at my life and how much I love it the way it is. I've struggled through a lot to achieve this amazing family I've slowly been able to put together.  I have been plagued by the same thoughts for a few days already. What will I do when the time comes? Can I leave my tattoo family? Will I leave my tattoo family? I don't know how to say it or who to say it to so ill say it on here. I sometimes worry that Kuma is going to hold me back from my tattooing even though he supports me 100% my lifestyle isn't an easy one. I do what I want when I want bc I can, that's one of the privileges of tattooing. Now kuma on the other hand has his job and soon he will be busy getting his business off the ground, I hate to bring it up but there is also the age gap. Trust me when I say age is a number when it comes to love, but what about lifestyles. I'm young and I am very active, I smoke weed after work and on my days off. My job isn't really a job bc I get to draw and color on ppl all fucking day, when I get home I still have energy to be up till 5am. I don't see that being something very compatible in the relationship I have with Kuma.  I never talk about my worries to Kuma especially now since he's been in the hospital. I hate thinking it so that's why I never say it, but I need to concentrate on my tattooing and don't think my life mixes well with kumas :( what am I suppose to say to him, I love him and don't want to break his heart. I don't have any answers so for now all I can do is handle my life the best way I can and take whatever consequences come my way. Only think I know is that one day I will be named one of the greatest tattoo artists alive.