Time to move out

So I've been staying at my friends apt on and off for the past month and well I've decided to move out on my own with my friends. I have a great paying job and I'm taking care of all my own expenses. I know the value of a dollar from working for free at my first shop and how to manage my money from my x, I'm 24 so its about time I started living my own life. Its been a huge struggle with getting Betty's title and fixing her up to running condition, to finally finding a shop that will help me reach new levels of my tattooing, letting my heart heal and love myself. I've had so many great loves in my life and I've learned a great deal from each and every relationship, I have found my voice to say what I want and the strength the stand my ground. I am ready for love but not looking for it, I now know that in order for someone to live a life with me they have to be apart of my life and I mean ALL my life. I don't live the average life and I never intend to go back to living one, I am headed to the sky and beyond so whoever is standing by my side better be ready for a ride. Its funny bc through all my struggles and achievements I have always had one man in my heart, nobody will ever take his place and I know that now. I can never forget him nor do I want to forget him and the love we shared.  My past is what has driven me to be who I am today, I will never take that for granted. Thank you for making a place in my heart. Oh and I don't know if I posted my new tattoo from my amazing boss.

I know now why i dont wanna be at home

So many fucking ppl here, its like a fucking mini apartment with all these ppl here. I can't even hear myself think or even have a shred of privacy, yeah I'm gonna pack some clothes up and be at jakes.

Its easy to forget how the rest of the world lives

anyone<p>My life is awesome, I'm not trying to be an asshole or anything its just well my life is awesome. I tattoo and pierce for money at one of thr best shops in the area, when I get off work I do what I want. I don't have to worry about bills bc I make money everyday, not saying I'm untouchable just that I'm blessed enough to live a life without worry. I don't have rules to follow at work, there isn't a punch clock to sign into, my shops meetings are us standing in front of the shop talking about tattoos. I forget that others don't have this, they have rules and tribulations to overcome everyday. I some mad weed when I want and for someone to tell me to slow down is rude, I don't do it at work and I don't pressure others into doing it. I work and live like the rest of the world just much more free than most so if I wanna smoke after work I will smoke out of every pipe in the apt lol. I'm not harming anyone so I don't appreciate someone who knows nothing of my life to tell me what to do. I'm the one who worked for free to learn how to tattoo, I was the one who failed and failed just to get up and fail again till I finally found good friends and make a name for myself. I will go far and still have the drive to be great, so never let my personal recreational activities be a hinder to who I am.

Movin on

So work is great, can't really complain about much. I love the balance I have as a tattoo artist and piercer. I have been awakened to how much tattooing means to me, the decisions I have had to make are worth it

Oh and im dying my beard red again

I like it and I never should have changed it, this is me :)

First night knowing im single :(

I used to sleep at night knowing he was mine and I was his but now I'm nobody's.  My best friend gave me a sweet tattoo today to make me feel better, its amazing!!!  Pics below :) All I can do is suck it up,not shed a tear,  work hard,  and move on. Kuma was and still is perfect but our lives just didn't click, hope he lives a very successful life.

This is going to be hard

So kuma ended it, he's not a bad person just more like our lives were going in different directions.  Today is the first day and yeah its not easy, I miss him but missing him isn't enough. I'm deciding to stop using my fb or txt for a bit even stop blogging for a min so I can just focus on my life and what I need to do to go further. If that means being alone then its a sacrifice I have to take. I hate the way it sounds but I chose my tattooing over my love life.

These silly songs

Been absent for a while huh, lets do a quick catch up. Work is amazing, more amazing than I dreamt of. Been staying with slim more and more since I got back from seeing Kuma.  Just not a place for me at home anymore. I love my life how it is, but that's the thing. I love Kuma with all my heart but I look at my life and how much I love it the way it is. I've struggled through a lot to achieve this amazing family I've slowly been able to put together.  I have been plagued by the same thoughts for a few days already. What will I do when the time comes? Can I leave my tattoo family? Will I leave my tattoo family? I don't know how to say it or who to say it to so ill say it on here. I sometimes worry that Kuma is going to hold me back from my tattooing even though he supports me 100% my lifestyle isn't an easy one. I do what I want when I want bc I can, that's one of the privileges of tattooing. Now kuma on the other hand has his job and soon he will be busy getting his business off the ground, I hate to bring it up but there is also the age gap. Trust me when I say age is a number when it comes to love, but what about lifestyles. I'm young and I am very active, I smoke weed after work and on my days off. My job isn't really a job bc I get to draw and color on ppl all fucking day, when I get home I still have energy to be up till 5am. I don't see that being something very compatible in the relationship I have with Kuma.  I never talk about my worries to Kuma especially now since he's been in the hospital. I hate thinking it so that's why I never say it, but I need to concentrate on my tattooing and don't think my life mixes well with kumas :( what am I suppose to say to him, I love him and don't want to break his heart. I don't have any answers so for now all I can do is handle my life the best way I can and take whatever consequences come my way. Only think I know is that one day I will be named one of the greatest tattoo artists alive.