Proud but sad

So ever since I quit the shop because the owner decided to sell it while we knew nothing about it, F and G got a job at another more local tattoo shop. Unfortunately I don't have anything to fall back on, I was just an apprentice so I can't just walk into a shop and be an artist like the guys. I've given up so much time and effort to have it all come crashing down on me, I've been strong since leaving D but every week its something new that strikes a blow to my brick walls. I really feel down and sad that I'm back to square one but more broke than before. I seriously just want to cry and retract from life. It would be easier for me to just give up and throw in the towel but I'm a stubborn fool so I'm just going to have to find another way to make it happen. I literally only have $14 to my name and I've got so many things I need to pay, I'm trying but its not good enough right now. I have to keep the thought that one day soon I will have all I want and need in life because I never gave up. All I can do it work on my skills and just apply at different shops for apprenticeships. The look starts tomorrow, I know I'll get denied a few times but I can't give up. I've got someone who inspires me, I don't know if he'll stay in my life for a little bit or for a good while or for the rest of my life but while he's here I'm going to take the inspiration he gives me and use it.