This is a blog of what I see, feel, and deal with in my everyday life. I guess you can call it an online journal.
Monday, August 8, 2011
New Tattoo
So I've been working on letting the boss man allow one of my apprentices to tattoo on me. Flash is a really good guy and I trust him with tattooing me. Its going to be a big rib piece, very colorful but with some black and gray work. A traditional Dagger with a ribbon that says LOVELESS on it and around the dagger are going to be some awesome sugar skulls. I can't wait to get it soon, still drawing it up and pushing to get it. Wish me luck guys.
What to do, what to do??
So I've been talking to a guy for a while, I'd say like a month through txt message. I met him through bearwww.com and he's a great guy as from what I can tell. I'm not having false illusions that he's going to sweep me off my feet lol, its nice to talk to someone who gets you. He's a very handsome man, we've even added each other to our facebooks and sometimes chat via facebook or bearwww.com or txt message. We'll I told him that I'm not looking for anything serious right now nor will I be until I finish my training next year. If we are still talking by this time next year I told him that I'd like to meet and so how things go. Its been nice talking to him over the weeks, he's really kept my mind on my apprenticeship. Well I've sent a few pics of me that had my I <3 U tattoo in them to him. I wasn't telling him I <3 U its just my tattoo and I can't remove it lol. So when he wrote back with <3 U one night I kinda freaked out bc I'm not ready to have someone throw that at me especially when I've never even met the guy. So I told him that I'm not ready for that and its best to cool it. He got mad bc well to him it was just a simple saying, but to me it means a lot more. I have been heartbroken so many times that I've become Loveless, so I told him that I just don't think we should throw those words around and well he told me that he wasn't in love with me and wasn't going to argue with me and said he's done. I felt like poop when he said that. I txt him a few times to just say that I freaked out bc it means so much to me and that I understood how he felt now. I told him that I didn't want to lose him bc he was a great guy, I let him know that if he wanted to continue to talk just to get at me when he wanted after he cooled down. I left him alone the rest of the day until the night and txt him if he wasn't going to talk to me anymore. He txt me back saying that I need to stop reading into things so much, I half agree with that bc its hard for someone like me who's been cheated on to not have a red flag when commitment pops up or I love you pops up. I've got my walls up so I don't get hurt, yeah I've let some down bc its nice to talk to someone who I'm attracted to and share a lot of things in common with. Well I messaged him this morning but no reply :( I'm not going to get my hopes up if he does decide to just drop me, not going to stress to much about it bc I know if I do I'll be taking focus away from my aprenticeship.
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