No job = FML

I am having a hard time dealing with life while I'm broke. I have so many things that I need to pay and being broke isn't really an option but its what I've been dealt. I literally dread getting a regular day job but what else am I suppose to do. I also haven't heard from  F or G since we left the dying shop. I've been really depressed because they got to move on to a job where they are making money and I'm SOL. I just want to fucking learn to tattoo and tattoo for the rest of my life. I got the numbers for my friends tattoo shop ready for him but that still doesn't do me any good because the shop won't be open for another few months due to having to renovate it a building to suit the standards of the Texas Health Dept. and get the tattoo and piercing license. I've been talking to a great guy but lately I've been stressed with not having any money that its affecting what we've got. I will admit that I'm ashamed that I've got no money and think to myself that he's not going to want to date someone who is broke like me. It has really been bothering me. My self confidence has really taken a blow these last few days since I left the shop. N has really been making me happy and I love spending time with him. If only I could make the money I need I could have it all: a job, a car, my career, a man. The last one isn't necessary but he makes me happy and I want to feel like I'm not some dead beat loser if we get more serious. In fact I don't want to get more serious with him until I get a job. I'm going to have to suck up my pride and go find a regular job till the shop is open in a few months. FML