Movin on

So work is great, can't really complain about much. I love the balance I have as a tattoo artist and piercer. I have been awakened to how much tattooing means to me, the decisions I have had to make are worth it

Oh and im dying my beard red again

I like it and I never should have changed it, this is me :)

First night knowing im single :(

I used to sleep at night knowing he was mine and I was his but now I'm nobody's.  My best friend gave me a sweet tattoo today to make me feel better, its amazing!!!  Pics below :) All I can do is suck it up,not shed a tear,  work hard,  and move on. Kuma was and still is perfect but our lives just didn't click, hope he lives a very successful life.

This is going to be hard

So kuma ended it, he's not a bad person just more like our lives were going in different directions.  Today is the first day and yeah its not easy, I miss him but missing him isn't enough. I'm deciding to stop using my fb or txt for a bit even stop blogging for a min so I can just focus on my life and what I need to do to go further. If that means being alone then its a sacrifice I have to take. I hate the way it sounds but I chose my tattooing over my love life.

These silly songs

Been absent for a while huh, lets do a quick catch up. Work is amazing, more amazing than I dreamt of. Been staying with slim more and more since I got back from seeing Kuma.  Just not a place for me at home anymore. I love my life how it is, but that's the thing. I love Kuma with all my heart but I look at my life and how much I love it the way it is. I've struggled through a lot to achieve this amazing family I've slowly been able to put together.  I have been plagued by the same thoughts for a few days already. What will I do when the time comes? Can I leave my tattoo family? Will I leave my tattoo family? I don't know how to say it or who to say it to so ill say it on here. I sometimes worry that Kuma is going to hold me back from my tattooing even though he supports me 100% my lifestyle isn't an easy one. I do what I want when I want bc I can, that's one of the privileges of tattooing. Now kuma on the other hand has his job and soon he will be busy getting his business off the ground, I hate to bring it up but there is also the age gap. Trust me when I say age is a number when it comes to love, but what about lifestyles. I'm young and I am very active, I smoke weed after work and on my days off. My job isn't really a job bc I get to draw and color on ppl all fucking day, when I get home I still have energy to be up till 5am. I don't see that being something very compatible in the relationship I have with Kuma.  I never talk about my worries to Kuma especially now since he's been in the hospital. I hate thinking it so that's why I never say it, but I need to concentrate on my tattooing and don't think my life mixes well with kumas :( what am I suppose to say to him, I love him and don't want to break his heart. I don't have any answers so for now all I can do is handle my life the best way I can and take whatever consequences come my way. Only think I know is that one day I will be named one of the greatest tattoo artists alive.

One more day!!

Its been what feels like forever since I've seen the man I love,but now we are only a day away from being in each others arms. So many things planned for our trip together. As long as I'm with him I'll be happy. The best thing I can do is stand by my man's side and live my life with him and take whatever we have to face head on. I'm working on getting Betty's title after I get back and after that I might be moving in with my friends so I wont have to sleep in my parents laundry room anymore. I'll. Be happy to be on my own, I make plenty of money to cover all my bills plus if I have my own room Kuma will be able to come stay with me for a few days. Not that there is anything to see or do in west texas lol. Lets see we have a tiny mall in both towns, a drive in theatre, some ok restaurants,  a gay club I hate going to, oh and there is one ok bar that does karaoke.  We'll figure something out when the time comes, he still has to meet the family too.

I dont know his past

I don't know what his past holds for our future but I'm willing to learn and not judge him for the past but for the man he is today. I don't like knowing he's in some kind of stress or pain and not being able to do anything about it. We have a tough road ahead of us after this trip. Idk when we will be able to see each other again, guess this is going to be one of our biggest challenges so far. I'm not going to give up. I love this man, he has given my life something its been missing for a long time. I knew the risks with having a long distance relationship when I first started talking to Kuma, it takes both ends to be strong enough to make it through. I know he has a lot on his plate, I only hope that it doesn't cause him to break and leave me. I can't afford to think like that, not at a time like this. I will give him all the support I can from wherever I am.