Another one....FML

So its starting to look like things are to good to be true with N. We never spend time together or text anymore. We were suppose to spend some time together this past weekend but his family came to see him so we didn't, I was really bummed that I didn't see him. I later told him how I felt but didn't want him to think I want him to ever choose me over his family. Things have kinda gone down hill since then, we don't talk as much anymore. I'd hate to say that its a failed attempt at a relationship but its looking like it. I'm going to hold on a bit longer to see if this just a tiny bump in the road. I know it would be a lot easier if I had betty working, but if this falls through then I'll move on like always.

First day at work

So my first day at work was tuesday but I forgot to post lol, it wasn't very busy and I enjoyed it. I was at the wash bay cleaning the cars and found that I got into the groove of things very fast and started knocking them out like nothing. I was suppose to be off Wed and Thurs but my handsome boss asked me if I could come in on either of those days so I told him I'd be in on Thurs at 7am. Little did I know that it's going to be fucking 30 degrees in the morning and by the time I leave work it'll only be 60 degrees. FML right ha ha!!! Its ok though as long as I stay busy I don't think I'll be that cold. My brother is trying to help me get a different job where I will be making more money so I'll see how that goes. More money means I'll get to fix Betty faster and get a better phone because the one I have now is crapping out on me not to mention that I'll be able to finally pay my phone. I don't have the money to pay it so its going to be cut off tomorrow and I won't be able to talk to N unless I'm at home via FB since he lives in Odessa and I live in Midland. He's super busy and we barely get to see each other in person so me having my phone cut off is a major bump in the road. I'll get to see him this weekend hopefully, I sure do miss being in his arms. One thing that made my day was that my sis told me that D's new man is ugly and that my man is a huge upgrade from D. I just smiled so big because D chose 20% over 80% and now he's stuck with an ugly guy who probably doesn't do what I did for him. N is the lucky one now as am I for being able to be with N, he makes me happy and is very supportive. I can tell that he truly cares about me like I care about him. As of now I know that I would not take D back if he came around, to many lies between me and him to be happy on any level.

Finally

I got a call from Enterprise and its the call I've been needing. I got the jod and I start tomorrow, from what I gather its a set schedule Fri-Tues with Wed and Thurs off. Its only $8 and hour but hey that's better than making $0 a day. First things first get my phone and bronco paid for, then start investing in fixing my black betty. Oh that's what I've decided on calling my bronco I'm going to paint it black and call her Black Betty :) I'll let you guys know how the job goes tomorrow.

Damn time change

I almost forgot that the time changed, I feel so off today. First of all I've never been a huge fan of colder weather and now it gets dark faster. I got turned down from one job because of my backround, it was a real bummer and blow to my job hunt. Thankfully I have N to pick me back up and keep a smile on my face. I love that he supports me in whatever it is I do, he doesn't judge me for the situation I'm in. I'm not feeling very happy about Enterprise, guess you can say I'm just waiting for the rejection letter or phone call. I need to find something so I can stop being so damn broke. I wish I could be so lucky to have the skills my friend F has and passed my tattoo test in 2 months then I would be able to work at any tattoo shop. I just have to keep trying my hardest and keep believing that my dream will come true someday soon. Until then I'm going to try and make money by any means other than selling drugs or my ass lol, my bro said he'll help me get some tattoo supplies so I can tattoo out of the house. Its a great chance to make some money that I really need. I'm thinking about it more and more everyday. I'll keep you guys posted on what happens.

Had one of the best nights I've had in a while

Its quietly official lol, N is my new man and I couldn't be happier. We spent a great night together at his house. I feel so comfortable with him and get this "100% honesty" feeling from him. We kissed, cuddled, and well you know what else lol Twice!!!!!!!! He's amazing at what he does and he takes charge in the right moments. I like hearing him speak about his day and his life. I can honestly say that I see myself with him. He's that special to have broken me out of my slump and saving me. I owe him a lot.

Its not official yet but.....

So I let N know how I feel about him and what we could have together and he feels the same way. He's taking me to the movies tonight and we're going to talk about the potential relationship. He's been hurt like I have its just that mine is more recent but that still doesn't mean he isn't just as hurt as I am. I know what its like to be lied to and so does he, I know that I will always be honest and faithful. I'm taking a risk that he will be to. I like him so much so that I'm willing to put myself out there and be vulnerable. More to come hopefully great news to share with you guys.

Am I ready to take the plunge again????

So things with N are going great and well today he asked me what I think about us potentially being a couple. I thought about it and I couldn't find anything negative to point out. He's been 100% honest with me from the start and usually I find something about the guys I date to be wrong but with him I can't. I don't find myself thinking about D anymore I just think about N. I smile everytime I see him or think about him, he makes me feel so damn comfortable. I think I'm ready to put myself out there again, its been one hell of a journey to get to where I am now. Things are slowly starting to get better and I have N to thank because when I was sad and ready to just throw in the towel he didn't let me stay down he made me smile and see that things always get better. If things take a more serious turn I'm not going to turn and run the other way, I'm going to allow myself to be vulnerable with him and let him know that I am ready to be with him. I just hope he feels the same way. I'm not saying we're going to get the wedding bells ready more like being exclusive instead of just dating. I'd proudly call him mine if he calls me his :)