New found respect

So I have a client that wants some script on her back and well she is super picky. I have done so many drawings that my back is now hurting and I'm so stressed out. If you want to be so picky then feel free to print out what you want in the font you want and I'll just tattoo it. Then some people think I'm some master tattoo artist and want the most detailed work known to man. Then we go back to me not having anyone to help me out, sometimes I just want to call it quits for now till I can land an apprenticeship at a great shop. Been aplying at different places that I normally wouldn't apply because I need the money now that I'm not with D anymore, but even though life has gotten a lot harder I don't regret anything. I hope deep down that he is sorry and regrets his choices for the rest of his life because it was wrong of him to do that to me. If I was a bad person I would have cursed him the first day I was away from him but I'm not. Then there is the fact that I'm more open to practice my wicca without him telling me that its stupid. Now that I have stepped back from his stone heart I can see that I should have left earlier. He was no good for me in everyway, I guess I was just blinded by all the things he promised me in life like a happy home and happy family. I had our whole future planned out in my head, we were going to be so happy together. Then I finally had to wake up from it all and realize that he was a liar and would lie to anyone and everyone he could just to get what he wanted. Its so hard to move on and not want to cry everytime I think about losing everything I dreamt of. I've only seen a small glimpse of R's life, I don't know what to expect from him. We get along great and have a great friendship right now, I want to rush into this so bad right now but I believe in doing so I will end up driving myself right back into D's lying arms. R and I have made an agreement that if either of us decide that we aren't meant to be lovers but only friends then we will say so asap. I've never met someone like R and it scares me that he can be alot of the things I find attractive in a man. I have noticed that I have a tendancy to fall for the first man that comes along after I leave D and it always blows up in my face. I need to cleanse my soul of all the heartbreak D has caused me and just let go of him. Its hard when you spent the last 5 years living alongside someone else, but I know that with the help of my family and friends I will be able to survive. I have to remember that I can't change myself to fit into someone else's life, they have to be willing to accept my lifestyle as I have to accept theirs. I need someone that is responsible with their life and doesn't just do whatever they want and not expect consequences. R has a gypsy soul and that leads him to move around alot and take tons of trips, I like that very much so. He invited me on a trip to Cali earlier, it was so sudden but I didn't even hesitate to say YES. I like that instead of telling me that we were gonna have to cancel our weekend hang out, he decided to take me along with him so he wouldn't have to miss me anymore. I don't think I can move away from mom and the family right now, but that doesn't mean I won't take trips somewhere. I really want to get my tattooing together so I can make enough money to get a vehicle and be able to travel wherever I want whenever I want. I'm a free spirit now and nothing is going to hold me back. Well its time to get some sleep because I have to practice a lot tomorrow so that I can start bringing in that money, oh there is this job I really want because its Mon- Fri. Perfect job for making money and still allowing me to get the weekends off to hang out. Love you everyone, until next we meet in this life of ours.

Missing him

So I saw him on Sunday and ever since then I've been wanting to spend everyday with him but then again I like having to wait. Ugh Saturday hurry up and get here. So I promised R that I wouldn't watch the new Ep of Glee, because I was going to watch it with him this weekend. We have so much in common that its insane. I've had to reassure my sis and mom that I'm not rushing into anything, I told him that I need to wait and so far he's been super respectable towards my choices. Well only time will tell right? Well until then I'm going to get a job and get my tattooing refined, get a truck, get my own place. When I'm nice and set with my life then I'll be ready to have someone stand next to me in life.

Got some work lined up

So glad that I have finally gotten some work lined up. A little nervous but its what I need to get my name out there for even more clients. I'll post up some pictures when I do the tattoos.

Teddy Bear Time

Finally got him on my right leg, isn't he cute!!!

........

What can I say, there are so many feelings that I want to express to the world right now. My life has taken such a different turn since I've left D. I can't believe he would do that to me, I gave him my entire world. I hope he can get his shit together before he breaks another heart. I've already kinda met someone already but don't want to rush into anything bc I don't want to get hurt and also I need time to heal from what D has done to me. I've explained my feelings toward this person and hope that he can understand what I'm going through. I like spending time with him but don't want him to be my excuse to not feel the pain of D's ways. I like that we have a whole lot in common and that he is so close with his friends and just very laid back, I will say that its not something that I'm used to. I'm used to being confined and not allowed to have friends. I know why now, bc D was worried that I would find out that he was talking to everyone and their mothers behind my back. I know my life will be beter without him but its still hurts to not be with him. I'm searching for jobs right now so that I can get my life together. I was talking to my best A and he told me that I never take the time to just get me right, I want to but I feel as though I might have pulled R in to deep already to not hurt him. I have to man up and let him know that even though we want to go full force into each other (so to speak lol) that I am going to need time to just be single. Its not like I want to date anyone else, I just need to live for myself for a while. I have no job, no vehicle, no money...yeah that looks like a hot mess right there. I'm in no position to be dating anyone right now. I just hope we can still be friends and hopefully one day when I'm able to stand on my own two feet we can be together.

Done

So I finally had enough, I caught him. He messed up and got found out. I can't believe he would do such a thing, but if I think about it. Its not that surprising so me. D has done this all before and this is the last straw, well that's what I said last time. I'm hoping to finally make it without him and move on with my life. I had plans to make a happy life with him but guess he didn't see it the same way. I'm going to be successful in my life and he is going to regret what he did for the rest of his life. I am strong and fully capable of being happy without him, but not going to say that its going to be easy. I'll keep you all updated now that I have more time to update lol, be safe everyone.

Found a hot bear on a blog I follow !!!!!!!!!!

He is so FUCKING HOT!!!!!!!! Just my perfect type!!!!