Liking the new apprenticeship

So item been a few days since I started my second apprenticeship and it's going smoothly. There are some major differences in how the shops are run. This one is very clean and professional, I learned how to sterilize tubes and grips. I like that my boss man is warming up to the fact that I'm not the average apprentice bc I already have some good tattoos under my belt. He let's me stencil out his tats more now and even used my shading techniques on one tattoo. Guess he wasn't able to grasp the shading for it, so he had me do it. The paperwork system is way diff too, it's paperless and not difficult . he days it's 6 months before I am able to learn any tattooing but I think that will shorten bc I'm already good just needs some tweaking. he asked me to email him my most recent tattoos so that makes me think he will bump off a few months

Yay

I'm so happy that I got a new apprenticeship but the only down side is that I can't tattoo for about 6 months. It's in Odessa again but a bit closer since I work at the airport.

Been a while since my last post

<p>I've been so busy and tired lately from work and having to think about tattoos. I asked for a few days off in Feb so I can take a camping trip so I can clear my head. I've started viewing tattooing as work instead of my passion and happiness, it's time to get back my appreciation for the art. I am liking this freedom to travel wherever I want now that I'm single, yeah I talk to guys but I'm not looking to settle down or hook up guess it's just nice knowing I'm wanted lol. Looking forward to going camping, last time I went camping was when I was with d and it was 4th of July I think and we got rained on and had nacho with us. So needles to say it wasn't a very good trip bc we ended up staying with his mom at her house. D wasn't very big on doing anything active like that so I held back from asking to take trips. Pathetic right but that's the past, and my future looks better. Haven't txt D in a while now, don't think I'm going to anymore. Just seems like a waist of time now that I think about it.

I like having friends

So I've made some friends and been spending a good amount of time with them. I'm single but so what I'm happy lol.

Ever feel like crying or yelling till you can't anymore?

Lately I haven't been feeling like myself, I feel a little depressed. I'm not motivated to do anything. I feel like crying for some reason but can't bc the one shoulder I felt comfortable crying on was D's and we all know he isn't here not does he really care to have me in his life anymore. I want to just drive out to the middle of nowhere and just till I can't tell anymore. I am tired of going everyday thinking about him and that I'm not by his side.

Thinking a lot lately

Been thinking to myself and slow I'm beginning to not want a relationship with anyone even D. Focus on my life instead of someone else life. I want to move away and leave all this past behind.

For a while there

I felt this with me and D would open back up bc we started texting more but guess that was just a fluke. So now it's time to be a big boy and realize that he might just like the attn from me while he's with his current guy. It's the same when I was with him and he would talk to other guys behind my back. My answer that I gave J is becoming to change more and more, if I find another guy and he actually sticks around idk if I'd choose D over the new guy. I don't want to be his back up if his man doesn't work out. I want to be the priority and if I'm not then I'll find someone who does make me his #1. Sad but can't wait forever for D to realize that I'm not going to be waiting forever or until he's done with his guy. If your reading this D I hope you make a choice soon bc later your decision won't matter. Don't live your life with regrets, if you love me come get me don't hesitate.

I love them

I love my family but I'm not to happy to be back. I miss the quiet of j's apt. Going to focus of fixing my bronco and finding a room for rent, now that I have been reminded what it's like to have privacy I want it. Tired of never having a quiet moment to myself, I love them but I need my space. going to work hard to get myself out of my parents house.

Having a blast in Ga with J

Been having a great time with J, that's me with one of his boys Oliver. I'm going to be sad to leave him, still trying to figure out if there will be something more between us after these days are gone. I'm more than prepared to have a temp long distance relationship if he's willing to a well. I wouldn't have traveled this far if I didn't think I couldn't have something with him, but it's not just my decision now is it?